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I’m Yuki, a Qigong practitioner based in Japan.
How has your day been so far?
Have you ever stood in front of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa?
That famous smile — so subtle, so ambiguous — has fascinated people for centuries.
Some find it gentle. Others feel something unsettling, even eerie.
It is said that da Vinci never sold this painting.
He kept revising it, layer by layer, until the end of his life.
Many believe that within that single smile, countless expressions coexist:
sadness, kindness, calmness, distance — none fully separated from the others.
Perhaps that is why people say the Mona Lisa reflects the viewer’s own mind.
What if the world we see works in a similar way?
What if reality is not something we simply observe,
but something shaped — quietly — by what lives within us?
Our gaze, our emotions, our unspoken beliefs
may be coloring what we experience, moment by moment.
This thought has stayed with me for a long time.
Today, I want to speak to those of you who try hard —
and yet find yourselves thinking, somewhere deep inside,
“Why am I like this?”
“Why can’t I do better?”
“Why am I not enough?”
Even when nothing obvious is wrong,
a heavy voice appears and turns inward.
Many of us carry an unseen presence within.
I call it the Inner Judge.
This inner judge constantly evaluates:
right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable.
When the judgment turns inward, it becomes self-criticism.
When it turns outward, it becomes blame or resentment.
Either way, the heart grows tense and restless.
What is important to understand is this:
most people are not aware that this judge is operating.
Because it works unconsciously,
we often feel overwhelmed by situations without knowing why.
We are pulled into emotions, reactions, and self-blame
without realizing that an internal verdict has already been passed.
Have you noticed how quickly the mind concludes,
“This is my fault,”
“I should have been better,”
“I shouldn’t feel this way”?
The inner judge speaks in certainty, not compassion.
Yet its presence does not mean something is wrong with you.
Simply becoming aware of this inner voice
creates a small but powerful shift.
When you notice that you are judging yourself,
you are no longer completely inside the judgment.
You are standing just one step back —
and that step changes everything.
This awareness does not instantly solve problems.
It does not erase pain or confusion.
But it begins to loosen the grip
of a voice that has long gone unquestioned.
And from that small space,
life starts to move — slowly, but surely — in a different direction.
For today, let us stop here.
Not with answers,
but with a gentle noticing.
The rest can unfold, one step at a time.
＊This is Part 1 of a series exploring self-judgment and inner awareness.
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