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I Used to Think Willpower Was Everything (Then I Learned This)

Lewis B

Hey everyone,
 
I have a confession to make. When I first started out as a trainer, I honestly believed that willpower was the secret to success. I thought if people just tried harder, resisted more, wanted it enough… they’d reach their goals.
 
I was so wrong.
 
And I learned that not from a textbook, but from a client—let’s call her Yuki-san.
 
Yuki was determined. She stuck to her strict meal plan perfectly… for three weeks. Then, life got busy. Her kid got sick, work deadlines piled up, and one stressful night, she ate an entire bag of senbei and called me crying, saying she’d failed.
 
In that moment, I realized my mistake. I had given her a plan that required superhero-level willpower. A plan that didn’t account for sick kids, long nights at the office, or just… being human.
 
I thought she needed more discipline. What she really needed was a better strategy.
 
That’s when everything changed for me. I learned that willpower is like a battery. It drains throughout the day. Every time you resist a pastry, ignore your hunger, or force yourself to eat another bland salad, you use a little bit of it. By the time you’re tired and stressed at the end of the day, that battery is dead.
 
Relying on willpower is a losing game.
 
The real secret? Setting up your environment and habits so you don’t have to rely on willpower.
 
For Yuki, that meant:
 
• No more ultra-strict plans. We built in flexibility for busy days.
• Keeping quick, healthy snacks everywhere—in her purse, her desk, her car—so she never got too hungry.
• Learning simple “stress reset” tricks (like 60 seconds of deep breathing) instead of turning to food.
 
She didn’t need to try harder. She needed a plan that worked with her life, not against it.
 
Now, this is the only way I coach. I don’t believe in forcing willpower. I believe in building smart, kind, and realistic systems.
 
Because you shouldn’t have to white-knuckle your way through your life. You deserve to feel free around food, not fighting it.
 
If you’re tired of your willpower battery running out by lunchtime, I can help. My coaching is all about building that strategy—so you can finally feel peaceful and in control, without the constant struggle.
 
You’re not failing. Your plan is.
 
Let’s build you a better one.
 
Ready to stop relying on willpower? Let's talk. Book your call below.

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This column was published by the author in their personal capacity.
The opinions expressed in this column are the author's own and do not reflect the view of Cafetalk.

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